Independence Day

Good Friday…the day when Jesus Christ was mocked and ridiculed, spit upon, whipped repeatedly and finally, nailed to a cross wearing a crown of thorns for the sins of the world, took an entire different meaning for me this year. Better said, the significance of this day was understood more deeply.

I have known about God for my entire life. I know all the stories, memorized the verses, and can sing the oldest of hymns. I can even say that I remember asking Jesus into my heart at the tender age of seven at church camp. I prayed, went to church, attended prayer meetings and Bible studies, taught Sunday school and sang in the praise band. I acted exactly how a Christian should act and I did exactly what I knew a Christian should do. However, the true meaning behind what accepting Christ as my personal Savior was still somewhat vague to me. However, July 26th, 2006, things took a dramatic turn in my life and honestly changed everything.

Let me first clarify that I did not always walk the straight and narrow road after I became a Christian. Do I think now that this may have something to do with a lack of understanding? Maybe…It is hard to say. My Pastors and Sunday school teachers all did a tremendous job in teaching and explaining all aspects of God. They each planted numerous seeds for years in my heart and in my mind. Yet still, I remained disconnected in a sense. The true measure of God’s love for me just did not register.

On July 24th, 2006, I stood before a judge and was sentenced to a total of 33 years, to be run concurrently, which played out in me serving eight years in the Illinois Department of Corrections. As I listened to this man call me a disgrace to the uniforms I have worn, an embarrassment to my family, a dishonor to my father’s memory and that people like me disgust him, I remember thinking that he was right, I was worthless and was getting exactly what I deserved regardless of my reasons for making the choice that landed me in that courtroom. At the end of the day, I was guilty and two days later, I was shipped to I.D.O.C.

Behind those gates was a world all of its own. The first couple of months to put it mildly were horrible. Besides being stripped of my family, freedom and rights, I was now repeatedly insulted by numerous officers and some inmates as well. Thankfully, there were some incredible ladies who pushed me and in many ways protected and defended me. This was my first sign of hope in what was definitely meant to be a hopeless place. Yet, I felt alone. I felt I had no one and I deserved no one.

So, I picked up the first book everyone grabs when they go to prison, the Bible. A feeling of familiarity washed over me; after all, I knew this book. I found myself reading and reading and then I read some more. As I opened to the book of John, I found myself engulfed in the story of the crucifixion of Jesus. It was honestly like I was reading it for the first time. Here I was at my rock bottom and I looked up for the first time and it hit me. Someone DID feel like I was worth something…God. In fact, He believed and loved me so much that He sent His own Son to die for me.

It was at this moment when I realized what I hadn’t understood before. My worth and value had to be founded in Him. He had to be my Rock, my foundation of who I was had to begin with and in Him. When I realized this, I also learned what it meant to be free…truly free. Physically, I might have been locked up, but spiritually, mentally and emotionally, I was free for the first time in a very long time.

For eight years, I strengthened my relationship with God. I started to see beauty and hope in people that others saw as nothing but failures and disgraces. I saw God’s grace exemplified every single day behind those bars. In the department of corrections, I saw God’s most priceless masterpieces and hope never had shown brighter.

This is where you might wonder what this all has to do with Good Friday. Well, having been home now for about a year, I can say that I have yet to put down that book I picked up. In other words, I talk to God ALL THE TIME and while thanking Him once again for what He did, it hit me all over again that the day Jesus died for me was my Independence Day. I was free in every sense of the word!!

In fact, we ALL have this freedom, even when the world puts its shackles on us and holds us as captives. He already paid the cost for all of our sins and He did it because WE ARE WORTH IT!! No matter who says you are a disgrace or an embarrassment, or if you dishonored or disgusted someone…God says and feels differently.

Independence Day for me changed my life forever. Hopefully it can change yours as well. God loved you enough to send His own Son to give you the freedom He knows you are worthy of. It’s an amazing realization when you think of it in those terms! Accept His gift and believe it…then simply let freedom ring!